Dec 23
[ Direct Download ] [ iTunes ]
Sometimes things don’t turn out quite like you planned. But as the saying goes, when podcasting hands you lemons, splice those lemons together with a goofy sound and hope for the best. This time around, we bring you our favorite holiday songs, and along the way we discuss bucket margaritas, the Star Trek war intensifies, and Kelly teaches Scott a new naughty word. So gather up the family, sit around the yule log, and try to follow along in the pamphlet you should have received by mail. We suggest you try making a drinking game out of this one. Happy holidays, from the Selected Jerks.
Spoiler alert: tracks from this episode and ways to obtain them are listed here.
We’re on Twitter. We’re on the emails at jerks at selectedjerks dot com. We accept questions. Peace on Earth.

[ Direct Download ] [ iTunes ]

Sometimes things don’t turn out quite like you planned. But as the saying goes, when podcasting hands you lemons, splice those lemons together with a goofy sound and hope for the best. This time around, we bring you our favorite holiday songs, and along the way we discuss bucket margaritas, the Star Trek war intensifies, and Kelly teaches Scott a new naughty word. So gather up the family, sit around the yule log, and try to follow along in the pamphlet you should have received by mail. We suggest you try making a drinking game out of this one. Happy holidays, from the Selected Jerks.

Spoiler alert: tracks from this episode and ways to obtain them are listed here.

We’re on Twitter. We’re on the emails at jerks at selectedjerks dot com. We accept questions. Peace on Earth.


Nov 15

Season 2 Premier: SPACE SLEEP

[ Direct Download ] [ iTunes ]

The Selected Jerks emerge from a cryogenic slumber to drop science on fast food etiquette, Korean fashion, and whippin’ it out. BONUS: We enjoy and re-tell a story from friend of the show ivegotzooms.

Broken glass, picking it up after the breakdown, dropping the needle. Season two is upon us.

Spoiler alert: tracks from this episode and ways to obtain them are listed here.

We’re on Twitter. We’re on the emails at jerks at selectedjerks dot com. We accept questions. Hit us (gently).


Oct 12

Oct 1
I had originally asked for a drawing of Shane the Mexican Wrestler VS. Death Metal Scott, but apparently Mr. Danger thought it would be hilarious to include me* in there somewhere as well. So what do you get?
SWSJ: Twisted Super Heroes! 
Maybe if you’re nice, Patrick Danger will create something awesome for you, too.
(thanks, patrick!)

I had originally asked for a drawing of Shane the Mexican Wrestler VS. Death Metal Scott, but apparently Mr. Danger thought it would be hilarious to include me* in there somewhere as well. So what do you get?

SWSJ: Twisted Super Heroes! 

Maybe if you’re nice, Patrick Danger will create something awesome for you, too.

(thanks, patrick!)


Aug 7

Episode 5: There Weren’t As Many Wangs Back Then

[ Direct Download ] [ iTunes ]

This time around, with a shout to @hisnameslen for the suggestion, the gang gets together to talk about some of their favorite cover songs. Plus, Scott and Shane share some tips on how to be a big hit at your next cookout, and Kelly takes a spin on the old Chatroulette wheel.

Spoiler alert: you can find the list of the selected songs and links to download them (free!) here.

We’re on Twitter. We’re on the emails at jerks at selectedjerks dot com. We accept questions. Hit us.

You’re up: what’s your favorite indie cover?


Aug 5
With apologies to P.T. Anderson, Episode 5 is coming soon.
We only do it because we love you.

With apologies to P.T. Anderson, Episode 5 is coming soon.

We only do it because we love you.


Jul 22

American Drink Recommends:

Purveyors of alcohol-related nuggets of wisdom American Drink thought we had a little somethin’ goin’ on over here, and had some nice things to say about us. We are proud to report that the recommendation could not have come from a finer source. You’d be doing us and yourself a favor by checking out our friends and their thoughtful musings over at AD, as well as their other recommendations.

americandrink:

Drinking’s a good sport but sometimes it’s good to get out, stretch the legs and enjoy a drink while doing something else.

Here are a few shiny things, some drinking related, some not, that caught our attention.

Underhill Lounge - In 2006, barman and son of an undertaker, Erik Ellestad began documenting his mission to faithfully re-create and photograph every cocktail in the Savoy Cocktail Book (1930). That’s 888 recipes… in alphabetical order… uphill, both ways. He averages around five cocktails a week—beginning with his first post, the Abbey— and he’s deep into the ’S’s now. Someone should make a movie about this.

Selected Works by Selected Jerks - pop culture super team Kelly Deal, Shane “weselecCyr and Scott “The Other Guy” McDowell setup an Internet party line and get looptid about music. Not in that “You SHOULD be listening to this” way but more in a slumber-parties-smell-like-candy-and-farts way. In other words, they remind you why you enjoy music. Fun, fingerbanging and jumpsuits. Right?

Shorpy, Geoplaced by Ryan Bateman - Ryan, who? Oh, you know, @secretsquirrel, Mr. Everythinginthesky, robot maker, software diddler and augmenter of reality. Well, he’s a South African that lives in Great Britain and made a sweet machine that places photos scanned from the American National Archive on a Google Map because “All in all, [he thinks] it’s pretty neat.” And I don’t even know what “refudiate” means.


Jun 14

Episode 4: SWSJ: Now With More Mouth Guitar!

[ Direct Download ] [ iTunes ]

In Episode 4 the Selected Works, Selected Jerks crew takes you on a magical karaoke tour through awesome 80s power ballads and Gary Busey’s spam box.

Spoiler alert: you can find the list of our karaoke songs, as well as the full recordingshere.

We’re on Twitter. We’re on the emails at jerks at selectedjerks dot com. We accept questions. Hit us.

What’s your karaoke go-to?


Jun 13
We’re gonna blow a hole the size of a nickel in your idea of something that you have some idea about. Coming soon.

We’re gonna blow a hole the size of a nickel in your idea of something that you have some idea about. Coming soon.


May 14

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

May 14, 2010

Selected Works, Selected Jerks Podcast Issues Formal Apology To The People Of The Netherlands And Descendants Thereof

Den Haag, The Netherlands: On the first stop of a goodwill tour of The Netherlands, members of the podcasting team responsible for the production and release of the program Selected Works, Selected Jerks today issued a formal apology for comments that were seen as derogatory toward members of the Dutch community and their associates.

In episode number 3 of the wildly popular entertainment extravaganza, entitled “That *&@%#! Sandwich” (release date May 10, 2010), during a discussion on the relative merits of the song “Little Green Bag” by Dutch music group The George Baker Selection, the cast exhibited a clear sense of shock that such a fine production could come from The Netherlands. In one particular case, an offhand comment was made which could be construed as a general slighting of Dutch people and their ability to do anything well at all.

"It has come to our attention that comments were made that inadvertently painted the Dutch community in a negative light, and that feelings may have been hurt," said Kelly, the podcast’s official ambassador. "It is important to us for the fine people of this land to know that no ill will was intended, and that we have planned a series of gestures that we hope will serve not only to repair the damage done, but to strengthen the bond that holds us all together. Besides, it was mostly Shane."

Cast member Scott followed by producing a scroll and reading to the gathered audience of six homeless people and one uncomfortably enthusiastic gentleman in a suit. Scott announced, “Seeing that the Dutch are clearly a very kind, honorable, unusually sensitive and remarkably forgiving people, the cast of Selected Works, Selected Jerks hereby swears to do the following as means of reparation for perceived insult and injury resulting from the comments [of episode 3].” Noting that the specifics of execution were to be determined at a later date, he listed the following points of procedure:

  • Selected Works, Selected Jerks will have their offices repainted entirely with Dutch Boy products, offering preferential consideration for the labor to any Dutch immigrants in the Home Depot parking lot.
  • Selected Works, Selected Jerks will host a screening of the film “Dutch,” featuring Ed O’Neill, star of the hit television show “Married With Children,” who is probably from The Netherlands.
  • Selected Works, Selected Jerks will make a donation to the United Negro College Fund.
  • Selected Works, Selected Jerks will refrain from relating any stories supporting the ideas that the Dutch are snooty, socially incompetent, mostly ugly and generally just really odd people, even though they totally have stories that would blow your mind.

Cast member Shane then took the podium, announcing, “The inappropriate nature of our comments was brought to my attention by a Dutch sympathizer by the name of Rommie, who went out of his way to mention what he believed to be a few worthwhile musical acts from The Netherlands. I took his advice to explore the myriad positive things that have come from this glorious nation, and would like to take a moment to acknowledge - rather, to celebrate - the following artists: The Outsiders, Ozomatli, The Motions, Q65, Yngwie Malmsteen, Bruce Springsteen, Les Baroques, Les Fixeds, Rob Hoeke, The Scorpions, Groep 1850, Buena Vista Social Club, Zipps, Shocking Blue, The English Beat, Focus, Wayne Newton, ABBA, The Clogs, Liquid Plumr, Hanoi Rocks, and Shonen Knife. We stand humbled.”

The group is currently en route by limousine to Rotterdam Den Haag Airport, the second stop on their goodwill tour of The Netherlands.


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